Me against Myself

I can't express my true being to the world. Its not that I don't want to, but its not as easy for me as it is for you.

I have issues..
I have problems..
But.. So does everyone else..

Then, what does that make me?

Normal? indifferent? weird??

The only thing I know worse than anything is.. Myself. The world and the obstacles I go through is nothing.. Nothing compared to what I face in my inner-self. A have a darker side of myself that no one else have seen. That I never tend to show. The only thing that keeps myself steady is the patience I have. The only person who can take me really high up and even burn me to the ground is, myself.

See, I'm not the person who expresses his thoughts or views in anger, arguments, or fights. I can't remember the last time I argued with anyone. Why? Because I give everyone else the chance to speak their minds. To let them know how they feel, regardless if it was through an unnessasary argument, or even a fight.

I care less of what people say about me, cause they are no one to me! Why the hell would I want to take to consideration of what this person, who literally doesn't give a damn about me, has to say about me? I don't give a shit cause its not true. No one knows me more than myself. Only the few people in my life have an idea of me but non of you do! So keep your shit to yourself.

I'm damn upset today, I lost my wallet on the way home. I don't know how because I was soo careful in keeping it with me. It was with me the whole time and the only time took it out was to buy something from 7-Eleven or paying for the food I ate. Otherwise it will only be in my bag or my pocket. I only realised that it was not with me when I got down from a fully packed bus on the way home. The moment I didn't feel it in my pocket, I knew immediately that I lost it.

Damn it. There is no doubt that today was not the best of my days. Just when I thought that things was starting to get well in college, this damn thing happens. Don't freaking ask me stupid questions like how I lost it, cause damn if I knew, it would be with me right now. The last time I used it was during 10am when I bought a drink. Even this very moment, i feel like throwing my laptop against the wall for not being careful.

Sometimes, it feels like the devil himself is playing around with me. That I'm his ideal victim. That of all the people, he only chooses to play with me. See, theres many things you don't know of, or rather, things i don't speak of that happens to me. The only thing I can do in retaliation is to be patient. I'm a man of patience. But like everyone else I know, patience has its limits.

Frustrated at myself..

I just hope for a miracle and its there in the class in College.