Going back to "When I was 15.."

I didn't actually got to ask one talk to one of my seniors about what i posted just now..

This is going out to one of my paling paling yang disukai Senior, Kak Farihah..

Ok.. you might freak out on Why I suddenly writting on you..
Don't worry la, im not gonna kutuk you.. I'm a good boy kan!

Before you actually continue.. I hope that you are actually in a good mood like usual.. And it would also help if you go far far back into the Cousin that I use to call back in your schooling days! (^^,)

Ok.. like this la..

About the blog that I posted before this.. Well, what actually inspired me to write that was.. Well.. you!

You must know that i wasn't angry, nor any kinda hatred situation when i wrote it la..

I wanted to write something.. but something else pulak come out.. Well thats blogging isn't it..

I want to ask you the same question I was asked..

How did we actually got close??

My answer was personally the time when we called each other Cousins! and called Sim Yee, Aunty..

Well, Sim Yee spoke like my aunty did when she advised me on something and from then on, I, no wait! ACTUALLY ALL MY FRIENDS, refer to her as aunty!
It was fun you see.. And when i got to know that she was ordering you around like she was your mom or something.. It somehow connects..

YOU - Sim Yee's Daughter, My Cousin
SIM YEE - Your MOM, My Aunty
ME - Myself, Your Cousin, Sim Yee's Nephew..

Those times were actually times i didn't actually feel anything to be ashammed of.. I like being in those situations.. I didn't care what others had to say..
It was just great that the both of us actually got to know each other better day by day.. We didn't had any problems with each other, we could trust each other will all our heart AND most importantly say what actually crossed our minds..

There were ups and downs obviously during our those times but there was more happier than sad..

I won't lie to say that theres no one for me to talk to.. I have Kar Fei, Calvin, Naz and all of them to say what i feel inside..
But myself felt even secured and excited when i could actually talk to you instead of them..

Could you recall the times when i actually was afraid to go to Teresa's Birthday Party? how you would force me to go..
Remember the time when I smsed you at about 1.15 in the morning when i was going through a hard time watching one of my friends leave to Korea?
And remember when you smsed me the song dedication.. the one by Def Leopards.. How could i ever forget that song..

Everytime I play that song in my media player and i recall you saying I'm always two steps behind you..

But now, when i turn around.. I don't see you there.. Where did you go?
Or is it me who has been running too far..

I didn't want what we had to end in an instant.. But honestly speaking.. I think that we were not the same as we use to be..

Remember another song you told me to listen..

Stay the same by Joey Mcintyre..

How i have been the same and never seen you there with me.. Its just sad.. You do see me when we hang around with the guys.. But what we once use to have is not there.. Its like.. The body is there but the soul is somewhere else..
I become this person who don't know what to do when i see you after a long time.. I don't know what to say.. All i think about is the past..

I really want you to know that I'm not saying this to you to insult you or tell how lousy you were.. SCREW all the people who think that way!
But.. the point of this 1 hour blog writting is on how much I miss the past.. How much I miss you.. and How much you meant to me..

Yes Couz! i didn't had the chance to say this to you..
And now.. I want you to know..

That You are the best senior I ever had..
And I would like to thank you..
Thank you for everything..
Everything you've been to me..
Just Thank You.. for You..