Out with it..

I won't deny the fact that love is actually an attracting topic loved by many. But in this case, it is just not so sweet.

Recently, i got back with her after breaking up for about a month or so. Well this is how it all started.

Me being in 16 at the time when i actually know that she was kinda interested in me. At first it really didn't make sense. Someone like her? Loving a guy like me? that just wasn't right at all. We were almost the total opposites. Well back to the story, she actually expressed her true feelings through MSN later that year, after school holidays started. At first i didn't wanted to believe that that was the truth but her conversations seemed really serious and it was even like 3am in the morning. I don't think anyone would want to pull a prank especially at that time.

Well, to be honest, yes. I had my eyes on her since back when we met up with each other occasionally when i was 16. It was like I had a one sided crush on her, but even then i wouldn't expect her to actually have feelings for me. I mean, i never expected that out of all the guys in her world, she would pick me. Not that I'm unhappy about it, but it was rather disturbing at first. Why? Well like i said, we were so different.

But one month later she decided that she wanted wants to "have a break" stating that lovers need a break once in a while to rethink. I wasn't gonna oppose her in anyway. But it was rather sad and heartbreaking actually. 1 month we were like calling each other sweethearts and loving each other but it was all through the internet of course. Yea, I should have known it wouldn't last, so yea, i gave her the space she wanted. 1 month passed and school started, By then we were back to being complete unknowns to each other again. Well, there were times that i met up with her and walk pass her, I would just say Hi and thats it. I couldn't go any further by saying anything. Its not like i wanted to ignore her the whole time, but I felt that it wasn't right to talk to her after the whole thing. There was one time when she was there alone with me for about 2 hours and i couldn't say a thing. Why? i don't know. She doesn't seem interested in hearing what i had to say; i thought to myself.

Well, it wasn't long till she celebrated her birthday and i managed to get her something. I still don't know how she felt but i was like being so like not me when i was around her. Why? I don't know. Still kinda sad but trying so hard not to show it i guess. So it went on and on, until one day when we went out as a gang to squares.

Here i was forced to pick her up in the LRT station cause her sis had something up and would be late, so now she will come by herself. I hurried to the station for some reason scared that she might already be there. Well, when i got there, i waited for a while and eventually she came. As we went walking back to Squares, Well something happened la, I suddenly became like-gila-not-me person. Well, we were laughing and talking like normal friends do and that was good la. Something else happened when we were about to cross the long long road.

She grabbed my hand. I supposed she would just let go at the other end. But she didn't, instead she grabbed my whole hand and held it across hers. We were like talking like mad mad people and playing around at the streets. I found it rather funny at first. As i tried to let go, eventually she still pulled me, i didn't want to let her go as well. I felt there was something. i wanted something . We went walking around the whole squares with our hands together and it was, pleasant. I remember the Lion Dance. Couldn't forget that.

We met up with the gang and we waited for the movie to start in about 20 minutes or so. Suddenly she got a call from and she got up. She asked me to follow her downstairs to get something. So i did follow her. We raced downstairs, from what i know it was fun. We went searching for 7-11. I accidentally went to the wrong floor so we was forced to go to the ground floor instead. We caught up with her sister and so we made our way back to the theaters and we went on holding each others arms.

On our way there, her sister asked this question 'So you guys got back together?' The both of us was like speechless. Both of us didn't know what to say. Well, i remember asking her once before actually going up stairs "Are we getting back together?" and all i can hear her say was 'I don't know' voices from the background was very interrupting and i didn't got the clear answer. Well, i didn't want to ask her again afraid that she would feel scared or embrassed in a way. I shut up for a while. So we went for the movie i guess. I didn't actually enjoy the movie but some of them really wanted to watch this movie so i didn't show any signs of boredom.

After the movie we went for bowling. So while waiting for the others to pay, i sat down close to her and i guess it was another opportunity to ask her again. So i did, i asked if we were getting back together, she replied saying, I don't know.. I asked her Do you want to? and she said i want to, do you? So we both know that we wanted it. and from then, we were once again reunited. And i was rather happy that we got back together. This time just excited as i ever was.

I didn't really cared about anything else. Now that she said it from her mouth, to my ears and she actually said it to me face to face was enough to prove that she wasn't joking at all about this. It was love and yes, i love her. We were so so in love for the whole month since then. I remember getting her a valentines gift but unfortunately she left minutes earlier or I was rather late. Well Valentines day has just not been my day, "flash backing" the time En Saad whipped my backside for being a busybody. I still can't forget that darn Calvin's face when i got smacked. he was laughing all the way.

So i had to wait till the next day. Following day, I met up with her. I was talking to her and i gave her my valentines card and a small gift. She was smiling all the way. Its nice to see her smile. She is just extra pretty when she does so. At that time, I was crazy about her, i wanted her to be mine. I loved her so much. I expressed how i felt. and she said she felt the same way. Another thing that happened on this day was something special. I can never stop thinking about it. I loved her so much more for that. She was my everything.

We loved each other very much, we kept talking about that day and everything else. Well, days later, there was this day when she called me at night saying that there wouldn't be any transport early enough to bring her home after school. So she was wandering if I couldn't walk her home. Its was a small favor. Well yes i did walk her home that day. Although it was rather a long walk, it was a memorable one. We talked, fooled around, even went quiet at times. She brought me to this place where she liked, it was rather nice with the playground and stuffs. Really brings back old memories when i actually gazed at the scenery.

We were almost there so i tried to find where i was situated. I remember this road or at least tried to. Well she said it was ok from there onwards. She was able to walk home. She called we to the side and gave me something. It was something i didn't thought she would give, although i was honestly hoping for. From then on, i knew she loved me so much and how could i ever been a fool for doubting her. It was something that i would keep as a memory. It was so sweet of her. She went home and i couldn't think straight for a moment. I didn't move, i was stuck in my own world for a few minutes.

Well, skipping the part i walked back home. So we got back to the usually messaging with each other. For one thing i know, i wanted her to mine. I was really addicted to her. She was my everything and I gave her my heart. I told her that she was now part of me and nothings gonna change that. We were both really in love with each other and It just got better and better as days gone by.

One night, she suggested that we go on a date. Well i didn't disapprove, in fact, i was more than happy to go out with her. It was my first date and it was pretty nervous. Well, we started of the day early at 9.30 i guess. So we walked to squares and booked the movie we were gonna watch. We did go for a drink cause 10 was like way to early and nothing much was happening during that time. We went to the top floor and went chatting as well as being quiet for moments. Then we both didn't know where to go.. So we went walking.. I remembered this beautiful scenery on the 3rd floor of squares so I took her there.

It was beautiful just taking a look at it. This point of my life took a big twist when something on happened. I gave her what i owe her and It would always be something that i will never ever forget. Well, that wasn't until she actually said that we were going way to fast. This point i remember shedding a few drops. I didn't actually showed it to her. I didn't see her happy and probably she isn't. Maybe it was that. I felt really wrong. I was angry at my own actions. But i tried not to ruin anything and keep my emotions to myself. Maybe by now she isn't feeling the love that we once had anymore.

So, we just watched the movie. In the theater though, we got close to each other, in some way, I just hoped that she didn't meant what she said earlier and it was a complete joke to try and fool me. Being in the theater, watching the movie wasn't as fun as it should be. So when the movie ended. There was still time to actually go for lunch. Which didn't turn into lunch. She said she was not hungry. Well it was normal for her not being hungry. I don't blame her though. I wasn't hungry too. But i remember that i owed her that Mocha Mud pie.

So we headed to TGIF, and i met up with the guys. Well, we ordered the mocha mud pie and thats it i guess. I sat beside her and i tried to converse with her. At this time, I couldn't actually figure out what type of mood she is it. Its really hard to tell. Cause, its just hard. If you can see it then you'll understand. At that point i kept asking if she was ok or not and stuffs like that la.. I can clearly see something is wrong. She is much different from the first time we went out. I like that time more. She was lively. I didn't like the second version of her. It was as if she was forced to entertain my wackiness.

We left TGIF to back to squares. And she wanted to go back to that spot at the third floor, Only higher. Well, I just followed her and we ended up going back to the third floor. Again it. It was sweet. And it was running late she had to rush back to the LRT. So i followed her. Teman her until the end there. Then she said thank for the date. it was fun. I honestly felt that it was not a good move to tell her about how i didn't like it so i said I had fun too.

I couldn't help but to figure out why was she that way. I felt so wrong. So disturbed. It was like she was forced to do something she doesn't want to. I had the feeling that it wasn't gonna last very long. I didn't want that to happen. After all we've been through, i didn't want that to happen. I love her so much. But I had this stupid feeling that haunts me that it seems that she didn't feel the same way about me. I actually liked her more when we first went out now that was more than anything..

Days later i received a message from her. She said she wants to 'let me go' and that she can't concentrate on her studies. It was a total heart break. I was really devastated with her decision. I went to my room sobbing away. I can't help but do so. After all that we've been through. She mentioned that we can still be friends. I didn't really cared much what she had to say after that. All i know is that I was in the verge of bleeding my heart out.

I wrote another blog just to make her feel less guilty. So i eventually blamed somethings that i didn't do on myself as well as placing myself as the downfall of this relationship. I also lied when i said i would be ok. Come on, who would?

It took me sometime to actually get myself back together about 1-2 weeks. I didn't really care about anything she had to say or do from then on. I was pain to the highest limit. This was the second time that this happened. Well, to her, I was a ghost and to me she was one as well. I couldn't see her or hear her or what ever. I don't think that I could see her face-to-face after this, I had to respect her decision. If I saw her again, that feeling of trying to get her back would take control. It was a difficult thing to go through, giving up something or someone that you love. To get rid of it just like that is extremely difficult. It took me time and I almost got over it. I was back to the old Remon back when i was in form 2. I was okay in every sense expect of my dark attitude.

After 3 weeks since the break up. She sms me asking why am I avoiding her. Well, being angry and all, i was in a ok ok situation where nothing seems to bother me. Well, I didn't know I was avoiding her, i thought she was avoiding me and so I also avoided her. I couldn't possibly tell her something she doesn't want to hear right? Well, it really didn't seem to care actually. She didn't need me. She just don't want anyone to hate her i guess.

4-5 days later, she asked me to come online. She wrote an offline message, something that i didn't expect. And now, probably she felt really guilty of leaving me. She realized what she did was her mistake and she was hoping that I know that she still loves me. She want me to know that when she meant forever, she actually meant it. I didn't understand anything at all. I was still upset with the fact that she failed to understand what i was going through and to make things worse, she didn't even turn to say sorry until that very day. It was really really something sad.

For all I know, she still loves me. I was really angry at this time. But i didn't want to put all my tantrum on her so i tried to be patient. The next day, she came on again. Again she said sorry for hurting me. I just accepted the apology and intended to move on. Thats when i told her, I just wanted her to be happy. Even if it means giving up all my love to you. I don't mind sacrificing all to make you happy. Although it hurts me, as long as you're happy. That was basically what was going through my mind the whole time.

At first, all i wanted to do was just accept the apology and nothing else. I didn't wanted to make up with her. I cared less about getting back together. But eventually, something changed that. I began asking her things and from there i got to know. All this girl ever wanted was someone to talk to. Someone she could share everything with. She used to have a good friend back when she was younger but they were separated.

Having plenty of friends and not having even one who cares about you just hurts, according to her statement. I believe the same and i also sympathized her. I tried placing myself in her shoes to understand that situation. Its just bad. wrong. hard. worrying. She was a sad lonely person after all. All she wanted was a good friend. Then i told her that i would be come her good friend just to cheer her up.

But sometimes it just hard to believe that no one cares about her. Its like, she is always talking so nicely with them and basically seemed to be the happy-go-lucky type. I mean is this a trick or some sort? Why find me back when you seem to have thousands or others out there. I mean, look at me! Why am i that special to you?? I failed to understand you! I failed to love you so much! I failed and failed and failed.. Why do you come back to me? Sometimes its just freaking hard to even think about it..

And most probably she misinterprinted. I mention friends. I didn't want to go anywhere closer than to causing my 3 heartbreak by the same person. But somehow i didn't want her to be sad. So i also told her that i would love her. But for the time being, we maintain as friends. Try to get to know each other better before proceeding.

Thats where She and Me stands right now.

Sometimes I don't even know what am i doing. I just want to make her happy. I have no intentions to hurt anyone or try to make anyone my enemy. I just don't like that. Whatever happens, I just want everyone to be happy.. Sometimes i get carried away when it comes to caring for someone..

Its like that. When you give 100% to someone and at the end of the day you end up breaking up it would just hurt so bad that you forget the whole meaning of love after that. I don't want to go back to the same path again and again. 2 times you have cause me heartache and pain. Probably you might say that I'm weak to accept the girl who broke my heart. No, I'm strong into realizing that everyone makes mistakes.

You must know something. Being in love with a totally different/opposite person from you is very hard. She is smart, She has the looks, she has the money, basically everything. Look at me, I know im not handsome, just perasaan handsome, i'm not smart i'm rather lazy, and the money factor is just up to average. Besides, I'm an extrovert and shes more of a introvert.

All i'm gonna say is, If you want this relationship between me and you to bloom, you gotta do much much more than the previous time.. But I'll admit.. I'm won't put my 100% heart in it like the last time right after what happened to me previously. But my word is my word.. i'll keep my promise. I'll always be here if you need me and i'll love you as long as you love me with all your heart.

I just hope that you actually start being a different you. I don't like to pretend. I don't know why i care too much about others. I think that was it.. My biggest weakness is that i care too much.

April Fools Day

Icc-ah-boo..
Its April Fools Day..

Basically you don't know what to expect from people when it comes to April Fools.. Many fools out there are trying to get you.. Its like a competition for them.. I remember the first april fool prank that i brought up in school in school.. Back in 2006 when i was in Form 2.. haha.. I gave no one no mercy at all, For all the victims who felt for my trap could help but being infuriated by me.. Haha.. Sorry guys.. They don't call it April Fools for nothing..

Oh yea.. Mentioning that, I'm probably the only person with my compatriot, Nazim that has never been fooled during this time of the year for the past 5 years.. Yea! no kidding.. Well, taking away the time that Hashrin pulled off a sneaky trick on us back in Form 4 when we were online, We were almost untouchable, or in other words, Unfoolable.. haha

So, this year was no different.. But I want to share with everyone the experience of an April Fools Day i had in my last year as a High School Student..

The very morning of April Fool was a scary one. I was aware the whole time. Knowing that April Fools is not really a pleasure at home, it was safe. My only worry was in school. You don't know student this days, They will do anything to win! Anything.. Now that is just scary..

It was basically a normal day in school and thing i had things running through my mind. One of it was, Mr Alex is definitely a victim of Aprils Fool for sure. Well, It was recess, me and and the blues (my prefects buddies which includes Mun Hong, Nazim, Looi, Hafiz and Kai Tjun) classmates and I are the same.. We are not a big fan of April Fools, expecially in School!...

I still remember 3 years back when Pn Teh stressed out during assembly, "April Fools are for Fools!" haha..

Back to the story, We made our way to the canteen not being harmed in anyway. Thats when Fool 1 (* fool refers to the person who tried to fool me) came to me with a gang. (Dienesh Nob). He came to me, saying, Remon, Pn Laili showed us your Chemistry Paper, she said you got 15/100! with their muka tak boleh belah, I couldn't help but calm myself down before laughing my head out.


I was like..
Wa?
really ar?
Chemistry?
Oo!
Chemistry paper i haven't do yet la!
and My teacher is Cik Maizura not Pn Laili..

Back to you Fool! hahaha.. You should have seen their sad faces.. Unable to fool me.. But you can't blame them for trying.. It was a good try though.. haha.. They actually managed to trick Mr ALEX!! haha.. Obviously i saw it coming for a long long time.. Seddih Mr Alexy! hehe

Well, i went on to carry on my duty up in my base, Well as i was walking there, i met fool 2, (Wong Ai Ling) she came up to me with a shock face and said

"Remon your Shoes!"

I stared at her the whole time,
then i said,
My shoe?
YAH?
Nice ar?

another muka sedihh.. hahaha.. funny.. well.. It was time to get back into the class.. it was Mr Alex time and i went on to ask him about his day.. His muka damn seddih.. hahaha.. Sad sad mr A.. well he tried not to show his emotions.. haha.. He only kept stressing on how brave the form 4 is until nak challenge guru pulak.. hahaha.. He also macam tak sangka.. Well, it was a sad disgrace later on when he was walking to the back of the class and Melvin pulled off a trick on Alex saying there was something on his pants.. He also macam kanak kanak.. go and believe.. I just only talk about the pranks all to him.. He still can fall for it.. haihz.. Pity him..

Well.. he turned to me and i couldn't help smile at him.. I gave him a smile of which inter printed this message which reads "I told you so, Mr Alex" HAHA.... SAD!

End of the day, I was walking out, I met up with Cik Ruzana and was talking with her for quite a while.. hehe.. It was nice to see her after a while.. Well we went on talking and talking.. till Mr Alex came down from the Staff room stairs.. I looked at him and he approached me.. Thats when i notice the buckle of his belt was broken or somesort.. I told him

Sir, Your belt...

he suddenly scream..

WAD?

i was laughing half way.. then i told him.. really la! Your belt!!

Then he tak percaya still!

I also said again.. Really la!

Then he felt his buckle without taking his eyes off me.. Then tibatiba pulak he said

"Ya i know!"

Cover macho la tu.. haha.. Mr A.. Mr A.. pity you la..

I remember telling this to him in the class..

"Mr Alex, i tell you now la.. You better be careful in whatever you do today, everyone is out to get you.. Believe me. the pranksters will pick out easy victims, and believe me, you are the easiest of them all."

Its true.. Really true..

Anyways Mr A.. i really truly enjoyed this years April Fools.. haha..

Yikes.. I was on the newspaper!!

So it has been..

I just came online knowing that no one would actually come online during the rainy hours. It was a time for me actually get back to blogging.

Well that didn't came in mind at first, i remember Cik Ruzana mentioning that she might be placing all the pictures she took during our Annual sports day online and so I typed out words that might match the search in the search box at goggle.

First, i typed "SMK Taman Maluri sports day".. quite weird stuffs came out and non of them were actually to what i wanted. And as i scrolled down.. I saw my middle name there as well as my school name in one of the 10 articles. Was it a coincidence? i was kinda surprised at first.

Then i began becoming more curious.. So i typed my full name at the search box in Yahoo search box instead. You'll be amazed by the results. I saw an article. And i got even curious.. GUESS WHAT!! DAMN!

Students share tips on crime prevention.
(From Malay Mail)

KUALA LUMPUR: They were almost robbed but they managed to escape unscathed.

The harrowing experience has made Form Two students Remon Melchizedek and Siah Mun Hong, from Sekolah Menengah Kebangsaan Taman Maluri, to be extra careful in public places.

"Three weeks ago.

Siah and I were in the toilet of a shopping complex when a man approached us and asked for RM1.

At first, we wanted to give him the money and leave.

"Siah opened his wallet and the man asked us for more money.

We were lucky the crowd started to come in, so we slipped away," he said.

Schoolmates Nurul Farhana Rosli and Nur Liyana Zaimuddin said one way to prevent themselves from being victimised was to learn self-defence.

"It is also important to remember emergency numbers like that of the police.

We must not walk alone when we go out," said Nur Liyana.

"Don't mix with the wrong company and get to know your neighbours.

They will help us when we are in need," said Nurul Farhana.

These youngsters were among 27 students at the launch of a crime prevention campaign by the Malaysian Crime Prevention Foundation's vice-chairman, Tan Sri Lee Lam Thye, at Sungei Wang Plaza on Thursday.

It was held in conjunction with the Hari Raya and Deepavali festivals.

Lee said pamphlets will be distributed to Government departments, non-governmental organizations and the public.

"This is a continuous effort.

We will have crime prevention dialogues and seminars," he said.

After the launch, Lee and Bukit Aman director of management, Datuk Kamarudin Md Ali, who is also the foundation's exco member, distributed goodie bags and pamphlets to shoppers.

There were also martial arts performances by members of Malaysian Silat Cekak Association and Malaysian Silambam Association.

I FOUND THIS ON ONE OF THOSE WEBSITES!!

not denying the fact that this is true.. But come on la people!! How to show my face again now?? haihz.. Anyways.. for more info:
If you want to have a look by yourself go ahead this is the url
www.accessmylibrary.com/coms2/summary_0286-9764616_ITM

My Last Sports Day Year 08'

It was a morning like no other..
I woke up at 4am and took my early bath. At one moment, I just stared at the mirror infront of me.. I told myself, today is the day you've been waiting for, The Annual School Sports Day..

Oh i could remember each and every year that I've attended the sports day and everyone of them ended in a close call between Teratai and Dahlia for the past 4 years. It was a tight rivalry between just the both of them, however, we the unfortunate one's to lose each and every4 year to them. They just have the best line up each year.

I could remember back when I was in form 2, Jocelyn was one of the best runners for Dahlia's under 15 girls squad and how i would be bullying her back in those days.. Haha.. kinda miss her so much now that she is in Sarawak.

Form 3, and it was basically the same thing. I sat on the sidelines and watched them race. We had plenty of good runners, like Jimmy Arizona, but just not good enough. But i did my part in supporting my house till the last breath. Dahlia won that time.

Form 4 was the year for me to shine. It was the "Tall Duos" for Teratai. Iskhandar and another tall dude. They were dominating almost all the events for us except the sprinting. I was chosen to take part in the 400m, 4x100m and 4x400m race. First time I'm given the opportunity to run. It was like a dream come true for me. I always dreamed of running on the tracks alongside our finest athletics. It was a double bronze and a silver in my first year as a track runner. Dahlia still won the overall results. I remember Iskhandar telling me that i'm gonna be an important asset of Teratai next year.

And the Fifth and final year for me with the team. I was chosen to be the House Leader for Teratai. Earlier this year I was already chosen to take part in The Long Jump event, 100m, 200m, 4x400m, 4x100m, and the "last minute" 1500m event.



Personally, I already had a huge rivalry with the Firdaus Abu since Form 4 when he outran me to get 1st in the Cross Country race, I got 3rd fastest. He was just one of the finest athletics during my time. On the right is the picture of me receiving my third prize trophy (My most prized possession).


Back to the story. It was a tougher call for me cause now in Teratai, i didn't had anyone to look up to, someone who could have or would have inspire me. All i knew was that I was nervous. Then it came to me, "Now you're their leader!, You must show them, Inspire them, support them, Do all you can for them!" Basically they were looking up to me to set an example. Yet, i did what i can.. I was there every training on Tuesdays and never gave up on my team. On the preliminary rounds, I got second for 1500m and first for the long jump event. A good start for Teratai I guess and also my first Gold medal in a secondary standard. I made it through the finals of the 200m as well as the 100m. So i kept waiting till Race day.

>>>> A fast forward to the futero.. >>>>

And as soon as it was, it was the eve of the biggest event for the school, The Annual Sports Day. The night before i was up till 11pm and i couldn't sleep for a reason. My heart kept beating and i was nervous to actually keep thinking about it. I had a few disappointments when some of the people i knew couldn't make it for tomorrow, kinda disappointed with that, but that all changed when Miss Ruzana called me that night. She said she would be there and it was great to actually have someone like her around. She being an Ex-teratai teacher herself coming to support, gave me some calmness.

Just as I was getting packed up for tomorrow, I was cleaning my spikes when my mother came in the room.
She gave me a look and said "Your Granny was right.."
I was like "Right about what??"
She replied "She told me, one day your son will be a runner. He is gonna take part in a major event and he will make you smile."

That moment, tears streamed down my face. I couldn't help but to cry that night. Personally it was a sad moment for me, My granny already had this planned out for me, she knew one day I'll make it.. It has been 10 long years since I last sat and talked to my granny. I was a pesky little rascal that time, causing troubles for my granny. But i loved my granny so much. The reason of my obsession over orange was because of her. She used to love dressing me up in orange shirts and pants. I was young when she passed away and how it was a bitter part of life. Over the years, I felt that I had a strong chemistry with my granny.

That night, I told myself that
I'm gonna give everything..
ALL..
More than I've got,
just for my granny.. (my late granny).

I reached the stadium at 7.30am. First thing i did was my warm up. I jogged a 400m as well as did some stretching. Hours later the first event took place. The infamous 100m race. Many claim this as an important event. 30 seconds before the race started, i knelt down and prayed silently to my Grandma. I did this 30 seconds earlier in all my other events as well. I managed to run pass all the other athletics to win the prestigious 100m event. "This ones for you grandma!"

I almost managed to swoop a bronze from the 200m race. "Another one for you!"

At that moment, I was mentally energized, but physically felt pain on my groin area. My was praying my legs didn't fail me at an important moment like this. But, as how i hate to say it, I was driving myself a little too drastically by participating in a back to back race event. (Meaning that i have to get ready to run again once i finish my current race and again repeat the same thing.)

When i finished my 2nd event, i had about another 20 mins to prepare for my 4x400m race. I took a seat at the stands and actually took time out to talk to the gang for a while. I personally told Kheng Wai to replace me instead in the 4x400m race. I didn't thought for a moment I was driving myself too hard. He was also thinking about it for a while then later rejected the offer. He wasn't even prepared to run that day. I can't blame him though. After the 20 minutes has passed, i wore my shoes and got back into the track. Somehow i felt recovered. How? By talking with the gang! haha.. Funny.. but i was good to go..

I got to find out that the other 3 runners representing the house was amateurs.. Form 3.. all 3 of them. It didn't matter much to me.. All i told them was to do their very best. Personally i went to each of them and said "Don't drive yourself too much if you can't! I need you to finish the race (at least in 2nd or 3rd)! not to win it! That is more important than anything else" Well, I was placed to be the 2nd runner to help out my team. When i recieved the baton from the 1st runner, my position was last.. Yea.. last.. Eventually i ran as fast as i could beating my injuries and just ran like no other, I managed to pass the baton to the 3rd runner being 3rd in the standings. However, we didn't managed to grab any medals but we finished in fourth. The other 3 was disappointed but i cheered them up saying it wasn't bad for an inexperienced team. I told them to try harder next year.

I wasn't disappointed, i had to run with a injury and i felt what i did was as good as i could. Better than enough. But all i needed was just another medal to achieve my annual resolution. With one more event left, i couldn't give up. Just couldn't.

It was the 4x100m race. An event that could just make or break our chances of being the champions. My worst fear though was Rizal, he is an inexperienced runner. He isn't really fast but i had faith in him. The week before, i was talking and advising him on this run. I volunteered to be the 3rd just after Rizal (2nd runner) just for a back up and gave Hazli to be the forth runner with Khairul Nizam being the first runner. We started off pretty well, Nizam managed to pass the baton to Rizal being in 3rd placing, Rizal managed to maintain the 3rd spot despite having runners like Nazim, Haikal and Arief against him. He passed the baton to me and i raced to Hazli being in 2rd place. It was up to Hazli for us, and he got 3rd place for us. Yes! I ran towards Rizal and jumped on him congratulating him for his part as well as to the other 2 who did an outstanding job them self.. We did it! I got a medal! 3rd placing was just as good as nothing. Rizal of all of them was the happiest.. He was the hero of the hour!

So now it all came down to the statistic counts as well as the overall results. So we were placed in the middle of the field under the scorching hot sun. They slowly announced the results of the events that took place. And it came down to the trophy giving.

The first trophy was for the Best Overall Results in the Preliminary Rounds
Teratai won!!

Yes I was jumping like mad! We went up as groups to claim the trophy.

The second award was for the athletic of the year
We were all looking at Firdaus at this one, he has already won 4 out of his 4 events, being a great leader and pulling off a great show. I stood up and applauded at Firdaus. Then they said
Olahragawan 2008 ialah ... "REMON dari Rumah Teratai"

I WAS STUNNED, LEFT SHOCKED.. 5 Seconds i was stiff as a rock and i came back to reality Screaming in unbelievable JOY.. This is the Best Ever Achievement that any athletics would dream of having.. and I was given this award.. One of the greatest achievement for me.. This is enough for me.. More than enough.. Being the best is more than i ever wanted.

And The Final Trophy was for the Overall Results.
TERATAI!!

WE WON! WE WON!!! WE FINALLY DID IT!! WE WON TOURNAMENT!!

NOT 1 YEAR!
NOT 2 YEARS!
NOT 3 YEARS!
NOT 4 YEARS!
BUT 5 YEARS!
5 years of patience to lift up the trophy for the purple team (Rumah Teratai).



WE DID IT! ALL TOGETHER!! It was the greatest achievement for a leader. Being able to win it all.. But i wasn't naive about it.. I did went to each of the Leaders and shook their hands in sportsmanship. This is the picture my friend took with all the awards we won that day.



Now, this is the credits for the whole campaign.

THANK YOU

- to my Mom for taking the trouble to be there (although you were an honored guest of the PIBG) to watch me and support me all the way.

- to my juniors, for their unstoppable support when i was on and off the tracks, running, training and even just walking.

- to Hafiz, for taking my place as head of the Red Crescent Society and doing my job very well when i was out there running and involved in activities of my own. As well as for his 100% faith in me. Thank you from the head to toe.

- to Cik Ruzana, for taking your precious time out to actually come to watch us in the stadium. You missed out half the training session of the F1 just to be with us, and I'll take that as a huge sacrifice. It was you, you wanted to be there to watch us. That is just very caring of you teach. Thank your from the bottom of my heart!

SORRY

- to Nazim, my best friend. Dude, this was a race and i'm sorry if i'm the cause of you not getting any medals this year. I'm very sorry if this year was a disappointment to you because of this. We had some close calls. Especially in the 200m race when i over took you the last minute to get the 3rd placing. I'm sorry Naz.. One part of me if just guilty over that.

- to Calvin, another buddy. For not attending your carnival. Dude i had sports day on the same day as your carnival. And going there with my sweating face and smelly body to your school would just spoil your image. So i'm sorry for not being able to be present at the carnival. Really sorry man.

- to The Green House guy, for blocking you/walking on your track at the 4x100m race after passing my baton to the last runner. Although it wouldn't make much difference in the results. It was wrong and i didn't knew you were behind me. I'm sorry man.

- to Firdaus. Firdaus Abu, dude, you are the best athletic our school ever produced. One of the best competitors i would ever dream of having. You having 4 gold and failing to get the Prestigious Athletic of the Year was just wrong man. I'm sorry to see that disappointed look on your face. I'm sorry for taking what we all fought hard to get. It is every athletics dream of getting that award. I'm sorry.

A SPECIAL EMOTIONAL MOMENT

- to my Grandma, for having the thought of me to become a athletic one day, It really strive me to do more than 100%. You are a great person in my life granny. I ran bursting my energy for you. Each prayer i made on that track that day was all for you. I know you were looking down on me from Heaven and watching me run. I hope I made you proud! Thank you Granny.. I love you and Miss you so much.

And to the others who supported me from behind.. Thank you very much i really appreciate your support and your advise.. It made me really happy just to have you there..

Now a small clip made from Kheng Wai.. He really surprised me with it.. It did made me shed a few tear drops just looking at it.. And thank you Team Hawk, Thank your friends.. Thank You Kheng Wai...

Muscle Tenderness

No! I don't have a muscle tenderness..

It was about today actually, one of the runners who was running the 100m run came to the campsite and complained about some problems he was having near the groin area. I asked him personally if it was a cram or what was it? Then he said it is painful every time he made the attempt to walk..

Walau.. I myself suspected that he had some problem near his groin.. Kind of sad for an athlete to suffer this types of injury. Luckily, Mr.Nizam was there, so he did his own style of check up which i observed from a far..

Well, after a few minutes he was still unable to actually move properly without support. And Mr. Nizam suspected that he has a torn muscle. He was placed on a stretcher and was brought to the ambulance. Mr.Nizam personally requested to the teacher for me to actually follow them to the hospital.. He told me all that was needed to know about the victim and he also asked me to report this to the doctor, M.O.A, M.O.D in charge! hehe.. I didn't know what it meant but i learned that later they were the doctors assistants..

APA LAGI! It was my first time to actually been put into action.. Lagi best pulak naik ambulance! With the siren going Eno!Eno! Eno!ENO!ENO!ENO! We cut traffic man! Damn fast! Excited gila man! I sit infront!

We reached the hospital and took the runner out from the ambulance.. I reported to the officials about the injury he suffered, "Muscle tenderness around the groin".. Walau.. felt so professional man.. Treat me like i pro! Malaysia Boleh!!

Theres no reason to be happy actually, i pity the runner dude, suffering from a injury like that could cause you not to walk anymore! That dangerous! His muscle could keep tearing if he forced himself.. I just hope that he should be better by tomorrow or day after that...

Best thing was to actually be in that situation.. to understand what is emergency all about and how to react in situations like those.. I've learn quite alot actually..

PBSM ROCKS!

PowerFreako Slobs..

I'm personally talking about my office bearers when I actually mean slobs.. It could also refer to others as well.

See the think that i don't like is that people who actually are given high post or just an ordinary post.. basically just been given a post.. I don't like the fact that they actually don't do a thing at all! Not performing well, is still fine with me.. but not doing anything at all, now thats just wrong.

I don't think that you deserve to be given any post if you don't work at all. I mean.. why do you keep thinking of yourself? Yes, exams is important, I don't deny the fact!! BUT you! taking this opportunity to get a certificated just by coming for a just a day, JUST ONE DAY, now i don't think that is fair.. do you?

Imagine the others whom actually did the their job for more days than you.. Do you think you deserve it more than them? I don't think so.. Even if they don't really know what they are doing (or in other words inexperienced members), at least they have the initiative to actually leave out the rest and come out to help.

I'm not blaming anyone for making their exams seem more important. Heck! it is! but whats the point of you coming for just a day and trying to get a certificate out of it.. I don't think that you actually deserve it.. Do you?? keep asking yourself that question.. Might as well not come at all, save your pride while you still have it..

Its been a difficult couple of months for me just because I don't have any cooperation from my office bearers.. Why? its because everything else is important.. Tuitions, Exams, Homework, Curfew, Outing.. Everything else.. They might be important for you but open your freaking head and do some critical thinking. Why the hell did you ask for a post in which you can't seem to be doing a good job at? Even if they voted you.. vote yourself out!

Its like you're WANT everything you can set your eyes on.. but you can't handle the responsibility GIVEN to you.. You're given the privilege to actually keep the post that you currently have even if you don't do much, but asking for more than that is just way way off the line. Yes, you do attend meetings once in a while and thats good.. Better than nothing yes, but you are forgetting that you are a leader in the presence of that society. You're suppose to set an example.

I'm not saying that I'm Mr.Perfect, I'm a slob myself, But i know my responsibilities.. I'm ever present when i know that i have to be there.. Take my football team for instance, I'm the skipper of the team, Supposedly the person who has to set an example for the rest of them. I do my part on leading them and protecting them. The problem with me is that i can't seem to be there early and i have cause faces of anger to certain of them. I know this and yet i admit to all of them. I even told that I'm willing to give away my post as captain because of this, i told them that i couldn't handle my job well. But guess the response of my team? They still want me to captain cause they believe that I'm fit for it.. My time factor might be the problem, but i never stop trying to come early.

Back to the point,

Yes! for you its important to get that certificate and by hook or crook you want it.
But take a time out to think, ask yourself if you deserve it or not.

Who cares, as long as i have the cert in my hand, you say??

Even if you do get it, its worth nothing!
Its a piece of paper with irresponsibility written all over it.

Something 4 You

It must have been difficult for you to actually say something that might cause anger or upset to someone, however, later on you find some peace in mind and soul..

First of all, let me start of with an early apologize for "not being me" when we had a conversation last time out. I was still upset..

I was feeling rather sad that our relationship didn't quite worked out. Sorry for that too. I just couldn't think straight at first. I wasn't thinking about the pro's and con's or how it would effect our studies and everything else. I didn't thought about anything but you. I guess that is love.. or should I say.. was love..

I tried putting myself in your shoes and tried to figure it out myself why.. In the end, I've decided not to think much about the past. I came to a conclusion in where I'll do what I think is best for both of us and since your answer was letting go.. I'll accept it.. (I hope I get the definition of your 'let go' before you actually read this) You should also know that I'm not angry at your decision.. Now, I don't know if you actually care or not about what if I actually wrote this or not.. I'm not you.. I don't know.. But what ever it is.. This is for you to know..

Anyways, Thank you for considering me as your friend instead, it is very nice of you to do so. That, should work out just fine. Well, if you ever required my assistance in anything, feel free to ask me or if you just need someone to talk to, you have my number..

You must be thinking whats one his mind when he wrote this..

In other words :
I respect your decision.. Every single one of it..

Thats it I guess..

Sorry..
Thank You..
and Good luck!

The Beautiful Letdown

I had nothing much to say to her after that..
It was her decision.. She was right.. she wanted her space..
She said that she wants to let me go..

It was hard to accept at first.. I shed drops of tears every time I looked at the text and kept thinking bout it.. It was uneasy for anyone to accept such words after all we've been through.. Painful.. a bitter moment..

I tried to settle down but couldn't.. It was as if the whole world came down on me.. I couldn't think straight.. I'm not being so cooperative with this.. No no no and no! i couldn't..

I took time to calm myself..
I asked myself a question..

Is she happy with this??

Obviously this is what she wants.. She couldn't possibly tell me this if she wasn't..
This is what she wanted and if i was being the cause of her letdown.. then i decided to take a step back and give her what she wants..

I only want whats best for her and if means giving up everything I've been through.. I'm more than willing to do so..

I just want to take this time out to actually thank you for showing me what love is.. Your presence in my life was a short yet beautiful one. You gave me my first.. well.. lets just say that you've been more than you'll ever know.. and I loved you so so much..
Eh oh yea!

Remember the time I told you that you are a part of me??

Well.. I didn't lie to you.. and well
part of me died.. when you let me go..


Sad..
She should be happy.. She got what she wanted!
She doesn't have to care about what others say.. Especially if its me, Who am i anyways?
I hope she chase the dream that she seek..

You don't have to be sorry for something you wanted..
Its good to be straight forward.. you'll actually be smiling by the end of the day..
Don't worry of others.. that very same others won't be there when you really need them..

Oh yea.. if you do read this.. Yea.. that specific you..
I want you to know that..
I'm not angry or anything.. why would i be?
Don't worry bout it..
It took me time to get over it so well..
yea.. I'm over it..
Just be who you are.. and I'll be who i want to be ok?
Cheers..

Motivational Camp for Leaders..

Eh..

Hi! I'm back from my camp.. and what a tiring camp it was..

Although the camp was a 2 day 1 night camp, it was fun.. We did many new and interesting activities as groups..

It was a four hour trip to Melaka I think.. either the bus was slow or time was fast..

Anyways.. it was as hot as ever there.. and there was nothing anyone can do about it, even our powerful bomoh couldn't make it rain.. Takde transmission kut.. However it rained 2 hours later and our doubts were cleared.. yea Looi is still the bomoh ramalan cuaca alright..

Well.. there was talking and talking and I almost slept at one point.. but hey don't blame me.. i was tired ok!

Well, didn't care much about what happened during the afternoon hours.. nothing much to say.. We entered our domes.. As i expected it was double deckers.. Kinda miss my old double decker bed myself.. haihz.. Nazim slept on the top and i slept on the bottom.. since Choon Liong can't find a place to sleep.. I was generous enough to allow him to sleep on my part of the bed.. Daya slept on the other bed beside me and Looi slept on the opposite bed..

Night time.. oh yea.. that blady activity.. (Burung Hantu)

Well.. it was 10pm when this activity started at the hall. We were firstly broken into groups of animals. Each of us had to pick a paper from this pot to see which animal group we are gonna be in. I got the fierce-some HARIMAU. We were blind fold and was taken around the area in the jungle/outside in the dark and we were suppose to be quiet when the placed us alone there.

They took me to a place where the ground was kinda damped. Wet but not soak. I was placed there and I patiently waited. Then i heard some voices, the same usual voice you hear in the jungle la. Those trees and some insects and frogs. The wind breezed on by and it was cold. really cold. lucky for me I wore my black long sleeves sweater.

Being blind folded and all didn't really gave me the opportunity to enjoy anything. My eyes were shut, so painful, haihz.

Well minutes later, i find myself in a situation whereby i would rather be somewhere with my friends. It was starting to get creepy and creepy you see. Unlike the others im not afraid to say that it was a scary place to be in.

Later on.. i woke up (Oh yea.. Just so you know, i fell asleep..)
Someone came to me.. i can hear voices.. "Tak dapat cari la! Mana dia? EH! Dia kat sana.. REMON!"

Walau someone called my name.. I didn't make any noice cause i thought it was a trick and i didn't want to lose but they approached closer and closer, it was one of the facilitator..

He sounded relieved for some reason. Then grabbed my hand and asked me to remove my blind fold, for a while everything was blur but after a few seconds my vision came back to normal.
There was a whole team of facilitators there and guess who else was there.. NAZIM!! haha..
well, I was guessing that the game ended and we were the lost ones.. Oh well..

Well.. i took a look at my watch and saw the time..
IT WAS ALMOST 2AM!! WALAU!!!
I was in that place for 3 hours ++!
It was really funny actually.. I was laughing every time the facilitator talked to me..
Me and Naz were the lost ones.. They couldn't find me probably because i was wearing a black sweater, black trackbottom and black shoes.. in a black night... hahaha... Damn funny actually..

I lasted there without fear and i was rather happy everytime i thought about it.. It made me smile..

ok la ok la..

Next day was last day already..
Not much to say.. but Looi suddenly felt sick.. our BOMOH! SICK!! Damn! pity him.. his body temperature was hot.. He was excluded from further activities.. Choon Toi, Me and Naz tried so hard to made the most of the day.. Now that looi was out..

It was hot at first.. then i asked Looi if his powers were still intact.. He felt challenged and said his ayat power.. It didn't rain.. didn't look like raining..

Balik time.. our whole journey.. It was raining damn heavily!.. that Looi!! REAL BOMOH MAN!!!
From Melaka to KL just like he said..

Well the rain made me sick.. now i'm having a small flu.. and a big sore throat..
Hope that I get better soon..
Well enough for now.. Post more some other time..

Introduction..

Yea..

Firstly thank you Louis for bringing me back into Blogspot..

Yea.. I often write blogs and this is the perfect place to actually write since myspace isn't really the wiser of choices.. Too many bitches and back stabbers there.. This is a even secured place from animals like them..

I'll start my actually blogging once I get back from Melaka..